No, Karen. You’re not dying. The “Calm Down Karen, It’s a Sprain” Tee is made for the overworked, under-caffeinated paramedics who’ve seen real emergencies — and know when it’s just a rolled ankle and a loud personality.
🚑 The Vibe:
Sarcastic. Clinical. Fed the hell up.
A walking eye-roll for anyone who calls 911 like it’s customer service
Guaranteed to make your crew laugh and the patients probably cry
🩺 This Shirt’s For:
Paramedics and EMTs who triage pain and BS in seconds
First responders who’ve mastered the art of keeping it professional (barely)
Anyone who’s ever been called “rude” for telling the truth on scene
🎨 Available In:
Black – because black goes with burnout
Ash Grey – for that neutral “don’t test me” vibe
Safety Green / Orange – because even sarcasm should be seen
👕 The Build:
Job-ready cotton blend – soft enough for station naps, strong enough for stretcher lifts
Unisex fit – roomy where it counts, flexes with your shift
Durable print – won’t crack under pressure (just like you)
Pairs with trauma shears, a hardened heart, and one last nerve
